


Unfit

by audreyslove



Series: Escape Series [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 02:53:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13538151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreyslove/pseuds/audreyslove
Summary: Graham asks Robin to help him buy a ring for Regina and makes it exceedingly obvious he has no business doing so.





	Unfit

He hates this guy.

He hates to even give him a name. Unless he absolutely has to, he refers to Graham as "him," "that guy" or "Regina's boyfriend" as much as possible, because his name tastes like ash in his mouth.

He really, really, intensely dislikes him.

In every occasion where he's had the, uh, _pleasure_ of Graham's company, he finds himself wanting to get away from him as fast as he can. He humors him, chats him up and occupies him, because he's important to Regina, and hell, what's important to her should be important to him, righ?

When Regina mentioned Graham felt left out of company matters, Robin sucked it up and started inviting Graham golfing with the guys. He shared his baseball and football and basketball tickets with the man, because well, it made Regina smile.

But typically, Robin only sees Graham when he is Regina's date to black tie events, where he always ends up acting like a neglected child, begging for Regina's attention, when she needs to network. Robin finds himself playing babysitter, keeping Graham occupied so Regina can schmooze in peace.

Graham's just a child. An ungrateful, pathetic child.

It doesn't help matters that Regina recounts his antics with him over coffee. She'll show up, frustrated and sleep deprived, admitting she had spent yet _another_ night arguing with Graham over god knows what.

Graham doesn't like to go to those black tie affairs her job dictates she attends. He complains about the long hours of her job, yet when she has time off, he's always made plans of his own.

He blames her for their lack of intimacy, and Robin _hates_ it.

And Regina's revealed that there is a lack of intimacy, sadly. He knows Graham hasn't shown much of an interest in her sexually, which could just about make Robin lose his mind. He's terribly jealous, and terribly frustrated because this man has the whole world in his hand and doesn't even appreciate it.

So, he hates Graham. And to be quite honest, he'd assumed the feeling was mutual.

Which is why he's extremely puzzled to find Graham calling him in the middle of a work day.

"Hey it's Graham. Ya gotta moment?"

Robin frowns. "A few I guess. But I got to be going—"

"It won't take long. I just...need your advice on something."

"You want advice from _me?"_  Robin asks. What pearl of wisdom was this man trying to grasp from a single father who spends his days pining over his coworker and best friend?

"You're her best friend, right?" Graham asks. "I need shopping advice."

Oh, well. Years on television have taught him more about women's fashion than any man should know, but oh well. Such is life. "She likes jewel tones and black. She's a size two, though if it runs small in skirts or pants she can be a size four." _Because she has the world's greatest ass_ , he thinks. But he's not going to mention that. Besides, Graham knows that, the bastard has held her ass in his hand — god he hates that man. "The set dressers always describe her style as _sleek_ and _sexy sophisticated._ Go to Neiman Marcus or Saks and tell a saleswoman. She will help."

"Not clothes," Graham grumbles, "god why would I ever bother shopping for clothes, she's impossible and too damn picky."

Robin bites his tongue.

"What then, mate?" he asks, trying to stay cool.

"A ring."

Robin nearly falls out of his chair. He never saw it coming. They don't seem _there_ yet.

"Engagement ring, I take it?"

"Yeah. We've been together forever, and she's always saying that I don't make an effort… well this is a helluva effort, isn't it?"

Robin rolls his eyes. "I suppose…"

"She's picky, I figure you're her friend, you know about this stuff, you're always complimenting her hair and jewelry and outfits, so you must know what she likes. You're like her gay best friend or something. Though, obviously you're not gay, I'm not saying that. Anywayyyy…. any chance you can come meet me at the mall for lunch and help my pick something out?"

Robin groans and wipes a hand over his face. God, this guy. " Not _the mall._ Go to a proper jeweler. Kings on Second Street. And it's not something you're gonna be able to figure out during a lunch hour."

"Really?" Graham asks. "It's just a ring. How complicated could it be?"

He really hates this guy.

.::.

They meet at Kings on Sunday at 2 PM. Graham shows up in this beat-up looking shirt and dirty jeans. He looks relaxed and carefree. Smiles as Robin comes up to meet him.

"Thanks a lot man, these things all look the same to me."

"S'ok," Robin say, scratching the back of his head. "Now, what are we looking for?"

"A diamond?" Graham asks sheepishly. "I dunno, help me out here. I didn't expect there to be so many...different styles."

"Go look around. Tell one of the salespeople your price range and see what catches your eye within it."

He picks out five rings...five gaudy, ugly rings with nothing in common except _none_ of them are Regina. There's the emerald cut diamond with two little oval stones on either side, expensive and flashy and _thick._ Then there's the marquise cut with some sort of diamond encrusted band that looks more like a weapon than a ring. And a round cut with a diamond halo surrounded by a thick band that just looks… cheap. A cushion cut with two smaller cushions on either side, but it's raised in this ridiculous way, and the band is flimsy and cheap. And then there's this tacky swirling travesty the jeweler calls the twisted petal ring, a line of diamonds weaving around smaller marquise diamonds.

"These?" he asks, looking down at them and trying not to grimace.

"No good?"

He should just let the man hang himself, and get one of these ridiculous garish pieces of trash and just let Regina see what the man who is asking for her hand actually knows about her.

But there's a fair chance the woman will say yes, and he can't look at one of these terrors on air.

"May I take a spin? See if there's anything in your price range that might suit her better?" Robin asks. "Not that these aren't great options, but—"

"'Course man, that's why I asked you here."

He's not _that_ nice.

He won't pick out the _perfect_ ring for her. Regina likes antique rings anyway, something with a history. So he won't find _the_ ring here, anyway.

But he could have directed him to the thin band with a large round cut diamond solitaire. The simple but elegant ring he'd associate with Regina.

Instead he picks out an emerald cut with a thin band of diamonds around it, and a similar ring with a pear cut.

That's just fine. Regina will like it _enough_ , but he won't have to look at it and think that she's wearing _his_ ring. Robin won't have to hear her gush about her fiancé's good taste, while he has to swallow down the fact the damn imbecile had outsourced this intimate task.

He won't have to hear Regina loving on the ring he wanted to give her himself.

Assuming she says yes.

He shows Graham the two options.

"Really?" Graham asks, looking at the rings with disdain. "They look so...boring."

"Just an idea," Robin shrugs. The best case scenario is Graham doesn't listen to his advice, shows up with one of these god awful rings, and Regina realizes how little he knows her, and finally dumps him. He's not an asshole, but he's not going argue too hard here. "If you think she'd like these better, by all means…"

Graham frowns. "Honestly, I don't really pay attention to what she wears. Hey, ma'am?" He calls over a saleswoman. "Which of these do you like?"

It's his five picks against Robin's two, and each ring looks quite different. She looks confused as she stares at the options. "I would...need to know more about your fiancée…" she says carefully. "Tell me about her."

"Err…" Graham scratches his head and looks at Robin desperately. "She likes pilates, and uhh, football, she watches that American sport, and…she's got dark brown hair...she's short..."

"She's in broadcast journalism," Robin steps in. "She's a reporter for newscast. Very dedicated to her job, very smart. Likes straight skirts and silk blouses."

The saleswoman smiles at him gratefully. "So a classic sort of style?"

Graham jumps in. "Yeah, classic. That's her." The saleswoman picks up both of Robin's rings. "It's going to be one of these, then. Definitely."

Graham sighs deeply, looking downright annoyed. "Thanks, give me a moment?"

He stares at the two rings as if they were a quantum physics equation.

"Fuck it." He mutters, then holds up the pear cut ring. "This will do I guess."

He calls over the saleswoman and effectively tells her to wrap it up. But of course, that's not how it works.

"What type of metal would you like the band to be?" she asks, and Graham looks confused.

"This...metal?"

"Platinum or gold, or—"

"Gold," he says, turning to Robin and asking, "right?"

"There's yellow gold, rose gold, white gold, 18 karat gold, 24 karat gold…"

He frowns. "Rose gold? Like a pink?"

The sales woman smiles and takes out a brochure showing the various type of metals. "Why don't you look at this and get back to me?"

Graham looks at the brochure for a second before dropping it on the table. "Fuck if I know what metal is best."

There's a rage inside Robin threatening to get out, but he swallows the anger down best he can. For Regina. Still he'd be remiss if he didn't at least try something….

"You know, maybe you should hold off on this for awhile," Robin offers, "this is a big decision."

"I know," Graham says, narrowing his eyes, "but it's a decision made. What are you saying, mate? You sound like my mum."

Robin tries to fight a wince, tries to keep things light and non-confrontational. "Well you don't seem to have a sense of what she likes...and this is an expensive gift to get wrong, yeah? Maybe give it a few weeks to feel her out, notice her tastes and preferences...most of these men…" he motions to the other customers, "probably have a better sense of what their girlfriend's style is. It's easier to shop this way. I know you brought me to help, but I shouldn't be making all the decisions. I should just be input, right? Because you know her best, right?"

"Of course I do," Graham says defensively. His expression changes, as if he's determined to show Robin he's got Regina all figured out. "White gold. I'll go with that. Yeah?"

It's...certainly not the worst decision. She would probably have preferred platinum but at least it's not rose gold or yellow gold. She's never been much for either of those.

"It's a good choice." Robin agrees.

They call the saleswoman back.

"What size?" she asks.

"Err...a two?" he looks at Robin as if he's proud of himself. "Or sometimes a four.."

The saleswoman is biting back a smile.

"Those are dress sizes, mate." Robin rolls his eyes. "this is a ring size."

The saleswoman reaches for a little laminated guide to ring sizes, along with a key chain of sample ring sizes. "So this is what our ring sizes are, a lot of times men can get a sense of what would fit when they see the ring itself. Do you know what size is close to hers?"

Graham eyes the rings dumbly. "I usually feel her fingers more than look at them," he admits.

Robin shudders.

He doesn't like hearing that one bit.

"Maybe go on home and find a ring of hers, trace it on a piece of paper, and bring it back?" Robin offers. He cannot help adding a small dig, "you know, since you've no idea of her size."

Of course leaving a store is nothing a good saleswoman will permit. Not without a fight.

"Would this help?" The saleswoman takes out a large silver stick It starts more narrow, and widens throughout the length. "there are different widths here, for each ring. If you are used to holding her hand…"

"Oh, that will help," Graham says hastily. He seems determined to prove something as he grips each width, frowning as he does. Then finally he shakes his head. "Definitely this, 6.75."

He hands Robin the stick, as if he just accomplished some great feat, and starts to talk to the saleswoman about diamond clarity and color and carat.

Graham seems to have something to prove now, and he's making an ass out of himself but Robin doesn't really care what sort of shit diamond he ends up with.

He plays with the sizing stick idly. It's strange, Marians fingers always seemed bigger than Regina's, and she was a size 6 ring.

But when he feels what a size 6.75 width feels like, he knows Graham is off.

Way off.

Regina's got long slender fingers, slender even for her tiny frame. She's probably a 5.25 but he would get a 5 ½ just to be sure.

This ring will fall off her.

He should say something, and prevent Graham from embarrassing himself.

He should, but he won't. There's only so much his heart can handle, and watching this asshole with the woman he loves has been years of sweet torture. He's tired of always putting his own feelings aside to be the good guy in all this.

Graham can give her this tasteful (but not her type) ring (that she will never know Robin picked out), but it won't even come close to fitting. And then Regina can see how _little_ Graham actually knows her.

And maybe that will be the small sign she needs to turn down the proposal and finally leave him.

He shouldn't hope for his best friend to have a terrible breakup. He should be wishing her the best.

And there will be days when he's strong enough to push those feelings aside and be the bigger person.

But today is not one of those days.


End file.
